The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
