so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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