I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you made out with another girl for some wings
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
