Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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