where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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