saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I could fuck to npr.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
