Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
