Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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