You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
