Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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