guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize