i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
