Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hippo gnu deer
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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