good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
