Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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