still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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