sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Randomize
