the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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