so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
