I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
