we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
