i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
3 2 1 whiskey
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
