So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
