let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
