You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
