I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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