I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
