U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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