The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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