BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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