Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This is classic penis vs brain.
My breasts were aching with rage.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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