What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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