...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
