I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
