I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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