Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
