I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
