no you cant smoke seaweed
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
