Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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