btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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