i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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