i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
