When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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