I'm so fucking centered right now
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We left the knife in your bed.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He did a backflip because drugs
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize