My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
