he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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