If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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