we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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