I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
