Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
