WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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