this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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