My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
