you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize