He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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