So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Randomize
