my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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