this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize