Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
