Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
