It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Houston, we have a blender
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize