So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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