I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
