dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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